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My son entered sixth grade this year, and he’s been very appropriately exploring who he is in relation to the many new freedoms and responsibilities that come with middle school.

It’s new territory for me, too, and it’s not always easy to know what is his business and what is mine as the boundaries change and expand.

After a pretty nasty fight over his choice of breakfast one morning, I realized that what he ate was no longer my business. (Actually, it really never was my business in the first place, but I sometimes forget that).

My business is what kind of food I purchase and make available in our kitchen. His business is to select from those options, or to choose ‘none of the above’ if he feels so inclined, and go to school and spend his allowance at the vending machine.

So after school I apologized for the way the day had started, and told him that I realized I’d been interfering in his business, and that I’d do my best to stay out of it in the future. He looked at me with such tenderness, and said, “It’s okay, Mom. I know it’s hard for you to get out of my business, because after all you’ve been in it my whole life!”

So it’s a constant balancing act, but I thought I was doing pretty well with it. And then I received a rather scathing email from his dad telling me that our son had not been completing his homework assignments in a timely fashion, and asking why he had not done any work on these long term projects while he was at my house.

He requested that I go through his backpack each night and look at all his papers, checking for due dates and then making sure he stayed on schedule.

Although it seemed to be a logical intervention, something about it was disturbing to me. I didn’t want to do it. I hated the idea of taking over something that I thought was well within the realm of self-responsibility for a sixth grader.

My instinct told me to let my son learn from his own experience what happens when homework isn’t completed on time. But I didn’t want to drop the ball, either. I just wasn’t sure where my responsibility as a parent fell in this situation.

Or more accurately, I had been sure until I got that email, and then I looked around and realized that I really didn’t know this territory, and what if I was lost?

Being the sort of person who loves to gather information and input whenever I’m in a quandary, I decided to contact my son’s teachers, feeling fairly confident that they’ve seen things like this before. If they said it would serve him for me to take over managing his homework, then I would do it, no matter how much the idea repulsed me.

Thankfully, they did not. Instead they fully supported my instinct to let him learn by experiencing the consequences of his choices, even if it meant watching his grades slip while he fumbled to grasp the connection.

One teacher even loaned me her personal copy of the Love and Logic tape called Winning the Homework Battle by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. And that’s what restored my confidence in my instincts.

I’d read their book Parenting with Love and Logic many years ago, and loved their assertion that parents should stay out of the choice/consequence feedback loop as much as possible.

The hallmark example of their philosophy in action is letting a child go out into the cold without a proper jacket. There’s a big difference between your child choosing a jacket next time based on her previous experience of shivering vs. wearing a coat because mom said she couldn’t go out without it.

One is an authentic, repeatable, and sustainable inner awareness of choice and consequence, and the other is compliance with an external authority who must then be present for the desired behavior to occur in the future. I don’t know about you, but I plan to be out of the loop someday, so I’d much prefer intrinsic awareness as a motivator for my kids, and the sooner the better!

The tape was such a timely reminderso clear about what was my problem and what was my son’s, and confirmed what I have seen over and over to be true: there are very few things that I can really and truly MAKE my child do.

I can’t MAKE him eat, I can’t MAKE him be nice, and I can’t MAKE him do his homework. So what can I do?
I can put nourishing food on the table, and share my enjoyment while eating it. I can be nice to him, and to others in front of him, and hope he decides that it feels good and he’d like to be that way, too.

And I can clear off the table after dinner, light a candle, sharpen the pencils, and sit down to balance my checkbook or write a letter during family study time, and invite him to take that opportunity to complete his homework.

The rest is up to him.

The tape was chock full of gems, some of which brought me to tears. Cline and Fay relate several personal stories from their experiences as parents, as well as their own childhoods. A particularly relevant story was shared by Foster Cline, who had a learning disability as a child (back in the days before special ed) and regularly brought home report cards filled with D’s and F’s.

His father would ask him every time if he was proud of his report card, and he would say ‘no, sir.’ To which his father would reply ‘Good! I’m glad to hear that!’ and then sign off on it. There would be no further discussion.

In about 9th grade he grew out of his disability, and went on to become an MD who is very highly regarded today for his extensive knowledge about parenting, among other things. He attributes his success to confidence in himself and his abilities, which was never shaken by his parents, who made a very conscious and deliberate choice to celebrate his strengths and overlook his areas of ‘weakness’.

Cline and Fay refer to studies which conclude that grades simply do not correlate to success in adult life as measured by financial standards or intellectual contributions made to society. What does correlate is how well the individual knows and draws upon their areas of competence, and how capable they feel themselves to be.

Which brings me back to homework. If I rummage through my son’s backpack and then sit down and monitor the completion of his homework, what message am I sending to him? Maybe that I don’t think he’s capable of taking care of this part of his life.

And that is not a message that I want to deliver. So instead, with the help of this tape, I’m hanging back. I’m telling him that I’m aware that he’s having a problem with homework, but that I know he can come up with a solution, and to let me know if there’s any way I can be helpful.

One of my favorite stories on the tape took place when one of their sons decided to test out his freedom to do some, all, or none of his homework. For 13 days in a row, he chose to do none of it. At that point his father said, “So son, it looks like you’ve chosen not to do any of your homework. Is that correct?” And his son grinned and said “Yep, that’s right.”

To which his father replied (using a tried and true Love and Logic phrase), “No problem! I checked with the folks up at the school, and they assured me that they offer 5th grade every year. So anything that you miss from not doing homework this year, you can just pick up by repeating 5th grade next year!” and walked away.

And what do you know, very soon after that, his son of his own accord decided he’d do some homework. And although he did just enough to get by, he did not need to experience 5th twice.

There’s so much on this tape, and the other materials available at www.loveandlogic.com, that rather than go on and on about it I’d just like to highly recommend all of their work. They’ve done a terrific job, so there’s no need for me to reinvent the wheel.

I realize that this is potentially a very controversial approach to parenting. All I can tell you is that I’ve seen it work better than anything else in my own family. So maybe, if like me you feel frustrated and overwhelmed with the old model of parenting, and you are looking for another way, you might want to check it out.

copyright 2006 Karen Alonge

Karen Alonge is an intuitive life coach and parenting consultant with 20 years of experience helping families with all types of challenges. She offers consultations by phone, email, and IM. Clients often notice dramatic changes in their daily experience after only one session. Please visit http://www.karenalonge.com for more information.

One of the biggest problems the teenagers of today face is unplanned pregnancy. The united States has one of the highest pregnancy rates in the world. Close to 1 million teenagers become pregnant each year. Approximately 90% of the pregnancies is unplanned, a number of them which eventually leads to abortion.

Consequences of teenage pregnancy

Unplanned pregnancy poses one of the most devastating problems in life. There is just too much stress to deal with for a teenage mom. The stress that they’re dealing with are time, financial and duties. Imagine the difficulty in juggling the time spent in school, with the baby and earning money just to provide necessities for the baby. Even if a teenage mom decides to forgone of her duties, for example quit school, it does not necessarily makes the situation or the future any better. With insufficient education means that the teenage mom will have to settle for low-paying jobs or worse, being unemployed.

Prevention of teenage pregnancy

I believe one of the most effective prevention measures is by promoting abstinence. Parents should try instilling moral or religious values in their kids. It will prove to be the best prevention, rather than encouraging safe sex with the use of condoms etc.

Proper guidance of teens does not start tomorrow, but today. It’s easy for them to ruin their futures by making a simple mistake and it’s our responsibility as parents, teachers, the society etc to guide them to the right path.

Useful hotline

Planned Parenthood
1-800-230-PLAN

National Abortion Federation
1-800-772-9100

National Adoption Center
1-800-862-3678

CLICK HERE for Schools for Troubled Teen

Whether your child is still in preschool, or if they are in their high school years, you can find a summer camp which will fit their needs and provide them with a summer filled with good memories. If you went to summer camp as a child, you may or may not have fond memories of your time there. But you will find that today, there are many more camp choices for your children-not only with the activities that the summer camp offers, but also the length and age of the participants.

The first thing that you should really think about when choosing a camp for your child is the age and maturity level of your child. Most children that are younger than 9 years old are not old enough for a sleep-away camp yet. They may be able to handle one or two nights away, but longer than that could be difficult. After age nine, the summer camp length can gradually increase to anywhere from a week to a few weeks. In order to prepare your child for their first experience sleeping away from home at summer camp, you may want to have them spend a night or two with a close friend or relative.

The next thing that you will need to decide is what type of camp. You may be in an area which offers a summer camp program through the city and school district which offer a wide selection of activities. You may also be able to find music, drama, sports, or computer camps that are only day camps. A sleep away camp may have a focus on anything from horsemanship, to surfboarding, to weight loss. You can find a lot of information about different camps by looking on the internet.

Before your child attends any camp you will need to do some very intensive questioning and research. You should find out what a daily schedule looks like, how free time is spent, what the menu is, and what the ratio of staff to campers is. You will also need to find out what kind of medical training and facilities the camp offers and what the emergency notification procedures are. Ask how you will be able to contact your child. You may even want to find someone who has had a child at that particular camp and ask them questions. Give your child a lifetime of memories from camp.

Eriani Doyel writes articles about kids and teens. To learn more about choosing a summer camp visit yscamp.com

One of the most popular reasons for having spectacles is nearsightedness

For a bundle of reasons, a person might become short sighted. The offical term for this is shortsightedness. When somebody is shortsighted, they can’t focus well into the distance, on the other hand they can see fairly clearly, when looking up close at things.

The degree to which one is nearsighted depends on the powers of the cornea and the lens of the eye and the length of the eyeball. In a normal eye the incoming visual images meet on the retina in the back of the eye. If these visual images converge in front of the retina instead of on the retina, then one is myopic.

shortsightedness does decreases in later life. This appears not to be related to a decrease in close work as is often proposed however rather due to some agent intrinsically related to ageing. It has been hypothesized the power of the lens of the eye changes in later life.

About 1 in 4 Americans are shortsighted.

nearsightedness is diagnosed by checking a child’s unaided vision and is confirmed objectively by the ophthalmic optician with various techniques, including retinoscopy and refraction.

To assess the specific nature of your nearsightedness, specific tests will need to be carried out to look at how well your eyes can focus on nearby as well as far away targets. Your eye movements will also be assessed as might your retina.

There are many children who will be falsely assessed to be nearsighted, due to the fact that of their natural tendency to over focus. To counter this, a trained eye pratitioner will often elect to dilate the pupils with some eye drops to prevent the child’s lenses from over correcting.

eyeglasses will be needed to correct your shortsightedness. For children under the age of 4, eyeglasses may not be needed though. .

Once a child starts school, then being able to focus on the board becomes important for learning, etc. So they should be regularly assessed for the need to wear eyeglasses or the need to change their prescription.

Spectacles will commonly need to be worn all the time. There are a few children who have a rare problem with converging their eyes and they may need to actually remove their specs for when they need to do close up work.

For most children, the holiday-break starts somewhere during that last busy week of holiday preparations. With excitement at an all-time high, you will need to plan activities for their excess energy in advance. Try these ideas to keep kids entertained as you finish your own to-do list.

You’ve got mail: Let children send electronic Christmas cards. Print out e-mail addresses for family and friend and log-on to www.uptoten.com. This site has many amusing cards (including dressing a reindeer) that will please children and recipients alike.

Reward program: Consult your Holiday Notebook for tasks left undone which children could conquer. Create a “point” system and let children earn points for chipping in to help. Use a formula like 100 points = $1.00 and take the children shopping to “redeem” their points when the post-holiday sales begin.

Guessing games: A creative centerpiece idea is to have children wrap miscellaneous items from their room or extra items in the house (a CD, a Lego®, a pencil) in holiday paper. These can be arranged as a festive centerpiece. Children at your get-together can then try to guess what each item is while adults enjoy a cup of coffee after dinner.

Assigned Seating: Let children create place cards by folding cardstock or cardboard in half. Bring out the markers, glitter, sequins, magazines, and anything else you have handy.
Let their imagination run wild. If your family has a good sense of humor, let young kids draw
pictures of each guest. Guests can try and identify their “assigned seat.”

Visit www.rushhourcook.com/holiday.htm for a full holiday meal plan with shopping list and www.changeyourlifechallenge.com for a free weekly newsletter with sanity-saving solutions.

The Change Your Life Challenge
http://www.changeyourlifechallenge.com
Take control of your home, finances, relationships, clutter, time-managmenet and more with this 70 Day Program. Sign up for the free Challenge Weekly Newsletter and the motivational daily Good Morning.

Some of our hardcore bullies have Probation Officers. Our school administrators and counselors use these P.O.s to help us help the bullies.

We get in touch with the Department of Juvenile Justice and communicate with them about the bully’s behavior.

With several of the bullies, we would send the P.O. the daily checklist, so he/she would know how the bully was behaving every day.

Also, we send any disciplinary referrals to D.J.J.

In some states, a school disciplinary referral will cause the bully to be sent to a detention center for a short period of time.

The most important idea is that the bully knows you are going to have open communication with the legal system that is monitoring him/her. For us, that one
fact keeps some bullies on their best behavior.

And that is all we want, isn’t it?

Paula McCoach invites you to subscribe to the Bully Zapper Newsletter, which is published weekly with tons of tips on how to effectively deal with bullies in elementary and middle school. You will receive a free special report for your subscription. To subscribe, go to http://www.bullyzapper.com

Purchase the latest Bully Zapper publication, 11 SIMPLE STEPS TO ZAPPING BULLIES! Discover tips on working with the bully as well as the victim, talking to parents effectively, using behavior checklists with success, enabling teachers to deal with bullies in their classrooms, and much more practical and useful information you can use immediately to Zap the Bullies in your school! To order, go to http://www.bullyzapper.com

©2005 Permission granted to reprint this article in print or on your web site so long as the paragraph above is included and contact information is provided to the email coach@bullyzapper.com and http://www.bullyzapper.com

What do we adults do when our friends call us with problems in their lives? We listen. We sympathize. We support. We validate their feelings. Maybe, just maybe, we carefully step in with a little advice.

When your kids have problems, do you abandon those wonderful listening skills and jump in to tell them how to fix their problems or analyze their handling of a situation? Yes, you have life experience. Yes, you have wisdom. Yes, you can probably save your child some grief if only he ‘listened to you’.
Most likely you cannot fix their problems anyway, or they may just tune you out, and most of all, they miss a chance to learn a life management skill.

If you gave your kids what you give your friends when they need a listener, chances are better that you will get what every parent craves: an inside view of what is going on in the mind of their child.
So give yourself a break. Just listen. Give your kids what you would give your best friend. Here are five tips to help you really listen to your kids.

1. Listen without interruption. That says “What you feel matters to me.”

2. Accept their feelings no matter how absurd, misguided, or naive they seems to you. Of course you want to guide your children to have sound values but where possible, let them have experience in ‘figuring it out’ themselves.

3. If you feel your child is stuck and it is important that you try to help, ask permission to enter the subject: “Do you want me to tell you what I think?” or “Can I make a suggestion?” And make it a couple of good quick, to-the-point nuggets, and pause. As your child trusts that you will allow him to do his own problem solving, he will be more receptive and even interested in your views.

4. Listen for the feelings behind the words. It helps kids to feel understood. As you hear your child’s words, ask yourself “What is my child feeling about this matter?” Frustrated? Proud? Confused?

5. Use a reflective listening formula: “You feel __________because_________.”
. After you hear your child’s words, you mirror back words that you believe describe how she feels. “You feel let down because Lori did not call you when she said she would.” Do not presume to know your child’s feelings. If you are not sure, say, in a questioning tone: “Let me see if I have this right. You feel angry because you did not make it on time to get to play in the game.” This one is particularly helpful for practicing feelings identification with kids and adults who have Autism or Asperger Syndrome.

Special tip for success: In the beginning, your child may find this new way of communicating strange and perhaps not trustworthy. Do not force it, be patient, be consistent with your listening skills, giving your child time to figure it out, relax and trust in it.

Ellen Mossman-Glazer M.Ed. is a Life Skills Coach and Behavioral Specialist, specializing in Asperger Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, ADHD, and learning difficulties. Over her 20 years in special education classrooms and treatment settings, Ellen has seen the struggle that children and adults have when they feel they don’t fit in. She now works in private practice by phone, teleconference groups and email, helping parents, educators, caregivers and their challenging loved ones, to find their own specific steps and tools to thrive. Ellen is the author of two on line e-zines, Emotion Matters: Tools and Tips for Working with Feelings and Social Skills: The Micro Steps. Subscribe for free and see more about Ellen at http://artofbehaviorchange.com/ You can take a free mini assessment which Ellen will reply to with your first action step.

Child molesters and abductors usually look like everyday people. They can be anybody, the teacher, next door neighbor, mailman and they come in all ages, old and young. Tell your kids not to talk to adults they do not know. Anytime they are approached by an unfamiliar adult they should check with a parent or trusted adult immediately!

Often times they will befriend a child by asking for help or offering something for they attention. Some examples are: Asking to help find a lost item or pet, offering reward money or for the very young ones candy or toys for assistance, saying they are good friends with mom or dad, acting like a police officer (children should only approach uniformed police officers, and/or marked police cars).

They may also gain your child’s trust by very minor contacts over several days, such as saying hello to them repeatedly. Make sure your children know to tell you if a stranger is trying to make friends with them right away!

Child molesters and abductors who prey on children wait for the right opportunity, like when the child is alone. Children should not be outside their home by themselves, even for short periods of time. They should walk to and from school and bus stops in groups.

Working together with other families in your neighborhood to develop a formal plan for kids to walk together is a good idea. Parents are encouraged to join or organize a Neighborhood Watch program in their community. A car or other vehicle such as a van is often the means by which the abductor kidnaps the child from the neighborhood. Children should never approach a vehicle unless they are absolutely sure they know the occupants. Abductors entice children to walk near their vehicles with some type of gift or questions and then pull them inside.

If children routinely see the same car parked (or following them) on their normal walking routes (to and from school, etc.) they should report it to trusted adults immediately! And the local police should be notified if strange activity is apparent!

Here are some statistics:

• Approximately 879,000 children (or 12.2 per 1,000) were maltreated (neglected or abused) in 2000.


• Sixty-three percent of maltreated children were neglected, nineteen percent were physically abused, ten percent were sexually abused, and eight percent were emotionally or psychologically maltreated.


• In 2000, 51.9 percent of child victims of maltreatment were female, and 48.1 percent were male.


• The rate of victimization of children was inversely related to the age of the child. Children from birth to age 3 were victimized at the highest rate.


• More than half of all child victims were white (50.6 percent), almost a quarter were black (24.7 percent), and nearly a sixth (14.2 percent) were Hispanic. American Indian/Alaska Natives made up 1.6 percent of victims, and Asian-Pacific Islanders accounted for 1.4 percent.


• Nearly nine percent of child victims experienced recurrence of maltreatment within six months of the initial substantiated incident.


• The majority of perpetrators of child maltreatment in 2000 were women (59.9 percent), while men accounted for 40.1 percent.


• Seventy-nine percent of perpetrators were parents of the maltreated child, and other relatives made up 8.5 percent of perpetrators. Both parents were perpetrators in 18.7 percent of cases.


• Thirty-seven children were killed by their babysitter in 2001.

Brought to you by

Frank at: www.safetyrus.com Email: Question@safetyrus.com

Personal protection items and safety information

During pregnancy, it becomes inevitable to have bigger and heavier breasts. This usually happens at around eight to ten weeks and it also becomes the time to replace ordinary bras. A simple rule in determining the best time to purchase a maternity bra is when wearing a normal bra begins to feel uncomfortable. In some cases, they are not only heavy but sore as well. To prevent them from being stretched, as these only have ligaments and no muscles, an expecting mom should make sure that the bra worn gives the proper support.

A maternity bra is often interchanged with a nursing bra. However, there is a slight difference between these two as maternity bras are specially created to accommodate the expansion of the breasts as these grows in size throughout the pregnancy.

The following are the factors to consider when shopping for the ideal maternity bra.

1. For extra support, the straps (preferably firm and elastic), sides and under-bust band should be wide. A deep center on the front can give added support as well. Such straps can prevent digging into the shoulders.

2. As breasts become more sensitive, there is a need to consider the coverage of the fabric around the breast area. Full coverage gives added comfort.

3. It is known that breasts expand in size throughout the course of pregnancy. This brings about the need to consider the overall adjustability of the maternity bra. It is recommended that four rows of eyes (hook and eye) in the back at a minimum will suffice to permit the bra to grow with the expecting mom. It is not advisable to purchase a loose fitting bra to allow expansion in the later months of pregnancy. One has to keep in mind that buying a bra is primarily for providing sufficient support.

4. It is often the case that pregnant women feel hot. Thus, maternity bras made of cotton fabric will allow the skin to breathe more freely and prevent sweating.

The following are some tips when trying on the maternity bra before the actual purchase.

1. Check if the cups adequately cover the breast and has ample depth. Make sure that there is no breast overflow on top of the cup.

2. If one is buying an underwire bra, check that no part of the breast will be in direct contact with the underwire to prevent any kind of pressure on the breast which can affect breastfeeding. In addition, stay away from rigid underwire and opt for flexible plastic support which are now readily available. Rigid underwire can add pressure on the breast as it expands during the day when milk is present and reduces when milk is not present. This pressure may result in blocked milk ducts.

3. To determine a good fitting bra, make sure that the back is level or parallel. It is no good to have the straps too tight which will only result to digging on the shoulder blades and thus, providing no support at all.

4. One needs to see that the center seam is comfortably against the breast bone. This will contribute to a good fit.

5. Since maternity bras are designed to expand throughout the course of pregnancy, it is recommended that when buying a bra early in the pregnancy to make sure that the bra fastens on the first row of eyes (hook and eye) to leave room for adjusting in the later part of the pregnancy.

6. It is always best to consult a professional in getting the correct fit of the bra.

Test anxiety is at an all time high in light of the No Child Left Behind law regarding test scores. Pressure to score well has students and teachers stressed. Hey UGLY Inc., NFP, the 501 (C) 3 nonprofit that helps teens with self-esteem wanted to help students ease their stress over taking tests so they put together the following tips:

1. Prepare Your Body -

The best start to sharpening your mind is to fine tune your body. Peak mental performance starts with a body that is fueled with healthy foods, moderately exercised, and given adequate rest. An occasional candy bar or popcorn might be fine, but avoid filling your body with junk foods, which tend to give you a quick burst of energy that will run out before you need it most. Drink water and avoid extra caffeine. Take walks, shoot hoops, jog, laugh, dance, or take time for some other kind of exercise that gets your heart pumping. Start now or at least a week before exams, then keep it up. Your mind will thank you for it.

2. Collect Your Gear -

You wouldn’t try to play tennis without a racquet. Organize yourself early by collecting and inspecting your equipment. You’ll need tests and quizzes, notes, textbooks and workbooks, and copies of handouts from class. If you have lost your syllabus or course overview, ask your instructor for another copy. Collect review sheets and lists of vocabulary words, important names and dates, or theorems, laws and principles. Organize these materials into separate stacks so you’ll have all you need in front of you as you begin to study.

3. Map Your Route -

The best way to reach your destination is to plan ahead, and the first step is just getting started. You already knowor you may ask your teacher if you aren’t surewhen you’ll be taking your exams. Prepare a plan by scheduling time ahead to study for each exam. Avoid putting things off, as procrastination is not only one of the greatest contributors to stress, but also the choice least likely to lead to success. Prepare a chart or calendar that includes each test date, then plan backward to allow at least three and ideally six or seven days ahead of time to start studying.

4. Pack For the Journey -

Now that you have a plan, it’s time to start packing. Look back at major tests, vocabulary words, and important projects. Review lists of key points at the beginning and end of textbook chapters, along with the main headings in between. A good approach is to get a set of note cards, then write each major topic from these materials on one card. Next, go through your notes and add important points to remember under the major topics. When you get ready to study, you can focus on the cards instead of having to refer to different books and papers.

5. Break It Down -

Now that you have your information in a form that will literally fit in your hand, break the cards down into smaller stacks. Look at the chart or calendar you made and prepare one smaller stack for each day you have set aside for studying for that test. Put a rubber band around each smaller stack and commit yourself to mastering the material on each smaller stack on the day you have planned.

6. Take Time to Laugh It Up With a Friend -

So far, we’ve been focused on preparing to study. Now it’s time to lighten up and get some help. Call a friend or classmate and schedule some laughter and study time together. That’s right, laughing time. According to Steve Wilson, physiologist, and founder of the World Laughter Tour, “If you look at all the research on laughter, it strongly leads us to the conclusion that one of the main purposes of laughter is the discharge of tension. Laughter also energizes people. If you laugh long enough and hard enough you reverse the physiology of stress.” If you need help laughing try Laughtercising with the “Laugh It Off” CD. Once you and your friends are de-stressed, you can help one another by taking turns quizzing on the cards. It’s a lot more fun than doing all the studying alone. Plan some snack breaks or exercise sessions during your study time to break up the study time. Be sure your breaks don’t last so long that you fall short of what you planned to study. Some people like to set a timer or agree on a time to come back to studying as a way to make good progress.

7. Take a Trial Run -

Many famous athletes, entertainers and musicians, as well as very successful people in other walks of life, understand the importance of practice before a performance. Get out your note cards, a pen or pencil and some paper, and then cover up all but the headings. Write what you know about each heading on the paper. If you get stuck, just peek at the card and keep going. The act of writing out the answers will help you remember them later. You’ll gain confidence from knowing that you could remember what was on the cards before you actually take the test.

8. Visualize Your Success -

Another part of practicing is to picture yourself being successful on test day. Sit at a desk or table in a chair with a pen or pencil and paper in front of you. Close your eyes and picture yourself in the room where you’ll take the exam. Picture in your mind the instructor passing out the exams and you receiving yours. Next, take one or two deep breathsinhaling slowly for a count of three, then exhaling slowly for a count of eight. Notice how calming it is to breathe this way. Now imagine yourself beginning the test. Picture the questions on the exam, and visualize yourself confidently recalling the answers from your note cards. Watch yourself calmly answering the questions correctly, finishing the exam, and turning it in.

9. Stay Sharp -

Throughout the study process, as well as during your actual test days, take breaks to keep yourself sharp. Get plenty of sleep each night so you won’t be asking a tired mind to perform. Laugh, sing, exercise and eat healthy, especially on test days.

10. Reward Your efforts -

No matter what happens during your exams, reward yourself for the work you put in ahead of time. Remember that you cannot control what questions appear on the test or whether you understood or remembered everything. Sometimes students keep thinking about a missed question or two on a test, which keeps them from focusing on other questions. Give yourself a mental high five for the answers you know you got right, and skip over questions you don’t know until you finish the rest. Then come back and try those questions again. And once the test is over, let is pass. Look ahead to the next exam with the confidence that you have prepared yourself for success.

Hey U.G.L.Y. Inc., NFP is a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization whose mission is to empower teens with self-esteem building tools, to help them counter challenges such as eating disorders, bullying, violence, substance abuse and suicide. U.G.L.Y. is an acronym meaning: Unique Gifted Lovable You. Hey U.G.L.Y. is founded on the belief that heightened self-esteem in today’s youth is vital to helping them cope and overcome day-to-day peer pressure and challenges. Their interactive website, www.heyugly.org, lists quotes about self-esteem and body image by celebrities. The site features self-esteem building articles, contests and exercises. Hey U.G.L.Y. created an in-school curriculum called “M-POWER.” It is available to middle and high schools across the country.

Betty Hoeffner has been writing articles for various media outlets for the past 30 years. She is currently producer of a patient safety film called Things You Should Know Before You Enter the Hospital and president of Hey U.G.L.Y., Inc. NFP, a 501C3 nonprofit organization that empowers teens with self-esteem building tools, to help them counter challenges such as eating disorders, bullying, violence, substance abuse and suicide. U.G.L.Y. is an acronym meaning Unique Gifted Lovable You.